Oh, I forgot! The other thing I will do all the time is post lists, in order to organize the more useless details of my existence for your viewing pleasure.

Top Ten Reasons 'Tis the Season.


1. Someone in the dorm next to mine has one of those fantastic lamps from "A Christmas Story" that looks like a woman's leg.

2. My synagogue sent me a Chanukah care package today, complete with dreidle, sticky decorations for the window that look like a menorah, snacks, and... post-its. I don't know.

3. The Dean of Studies and the President are making us breakfast at 10:00 at night on Wednesday. Actually, that is probably a lie. I'm sure they will get the cafeteria staff to cook a bunch of french toast, and then put on an apron and smile pretty. But whatever. It's free food.

4. Squirm, our resident erotica club, threw a party last night in the students' center. There was lots of chocolate, techno dancing, and gay porn. Not really sure how to feel about that one.

5. While having a study break in the parlor the other afternoon, that included hot chocolate, acoustic guitar-playing, and knitting quilts a local shelter, I was tied up in thread by the four-year-old son of the family that lives in our dorm. I'm not really sure what this has to do with the holiday season, but I'm sure there is some connection.

6. The professors are taking advantage of the extra adrenaline provided by our holiday spirit to assign us gigantic final papers! Hooray! Ok, maybe not.

7. Threadless.com is having a $10 shirt sale! Scoop them babies up before they're all gone!

8. My mother has been telling me what I want for the holidays. As in "Lauren, how about some new speakers? I think you want some new speaker, don't you?" It's rather alarming.

9. Someone made fun of my cherished family tradition of topping the Christmas tree with a cardboard and tinfoil star of David. Ah, the joys of interfaith living.

10. The Italian Department is throwing a party, where there will hopefully be lots of food, bad Italian pop music, and professors who have consumed too much wine singing songs that no one understands! And I'm late!

Gotta go!

Ciao, ragazzi!

Because you can't have just one blog... or two... or three...

Well, after a brief hiatus, due to the fact that all of my peers dropped off the face of the internet (or simply relocated to facebook.com), leaving me unquestionably alone, I have returned to the world of blogging. I knew it couldn't last... it seems that my life is not complete unless I have an outlet for my daily ramblings and deep, dark secrets. I tried a diary, but it's just not any fun at all if I can't subject the world at large to my musings.

Those of you who were familiar with comeslowly_eden (and the site before, whose name and earlier posts are far too idiotic to recall in this new space) already know how this works. I write- far too often- and if you bother to read every once in a while, you may come across a post that is amusing, scandalous, or intriguing. More often than not, you will find no more than a laundry list of complaints and disjointed sentences, but if you're lucky, you may come across clever satire of classic novels, essays on anything from the concept of love in today's society to theories about Paris Hilton's otherworldly attributes, or other interesting tidbits. If you are rather unlucky, you will get a nice batch of awful poetry. I can't be held responsible for what you find.

But let us not forget the REAL reason that I am starting over, once again, here and now: I should be writing a ten page paper. And doing laundry. And getting started on studying for finals. A familiar situation indeed. Now that I am in college, you would think that I would be more responsible. Au contraire, my dears, I have simply found more inventive ways to procrastinate.

I suppose that is all for now. Yevgeny Onegin, star of my unfinished paper, calls to me. As do my dirty underwear.

Well, not really. That would be weird.